I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
