I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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