I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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