i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
