talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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