**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wannas sexs uuuuu
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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