i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My vagina is very pro this idea
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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