So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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