he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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