I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
