if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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