Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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