he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize