Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
