Define "chronic" masturbator.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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