she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
