it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
