I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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