I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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