And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
