They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
