is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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