Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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