I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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