the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
