He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
