My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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