Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
