im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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