Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
