tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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