some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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