Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
