Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
