Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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