Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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