no, he came in my armpit
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
