we have pet lesbian snakes
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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