at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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