I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
