So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why can't burritos get me drunk
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize