question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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