Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
