where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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