You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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