I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
