i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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