i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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