I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
