I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
