And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
