I swear god or herbie drove my car home
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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