It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
