May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
