is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
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Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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