Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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