Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
