I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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