Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
