Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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